"Every new child born brings the message that God is not yet discouraged of man."--Tagore

a quote shown at the end of the movie--The Indian Runner- directed by Sean Penn and starring David Morse and Viggo Mortenson--Bruce Springsteen used parts of the movie in a video for his song "Highway Patrolman"--great movie, great song--but the video doesn't end like the movie----

ummm, what to add now---i think the quote was from Rabindranath Tagore, an Indian poet, philosopher, and playwright-he also was the first Asian to be awarded the Nobel Prize for literature in 1913-

i am not quite sure that i believe his quote---

but i know i want to
peace

-will-

insomnomania

Pushed sleep aside and tried to write

The thoughts that fill my head each night

Words and pictures just echoed round my brain-

Started some words, but all went down the drain,

Now the thoughts just collide and off each other slide

Into corners where they almost always choose to hide

Jumbled, tumbled- rumbling, damn it, they belong to me

I work hard to find my peace, but they won’t let me be.

So I write and laugh, grumble, stumble, refuse to cry;

Late, it’s late- must get some sleep so I will let it lie.

But it won't let me-

No sleep tonight.

peace

-will-

just is

If you took lawyers and laid them end to end, head to foot, etc--how many would it take to stretch from the earth to the moon--------not enough, but it would be a good start--

ok, bad joke but good lawyer joke and that's the only thing i've written in a very long time---continuing battle with the criminal justice system--which translates that the (alleged, yeah right) criminal has all the rights, the victim has none-----one of the lawyers/paralegals, whatever, in the state attorney's office agreed with me when i told her this--nobody believes the "system" works----i know i've said before that we practically deify our founding fathers--putting forth the constitution with all its changes, amendments, etc. (and some of the amendments are indeed great) as what they would have wanted---but any fledgling historian would tell you if any of these founding fathers came back, a majority of the criminals that go through court would have quick trials and be summarily hanged within a few days--some might not make it all the way through court--now the DA's (which in most cases should be abbreviation for something other than district attorney--as in first word is "dumb") and state attorneys will not prosecute a case unless they are absolutely sure they can win and even then they will usually plead down just to make sure--and then there needs to be a lot of press coverage on top of that----still, i have been reminded as bad as our system is, it is still the best in the world--and i believe that--somehow it didn't ring quite as true being told that by a lawyer--- and ok, i know there are good lawyers, i have actually met a FEW---i wonder if they are an endangered species--sometimes i feel the rest of us are--

i know, this blog is turning into a rant--but i actually read some stuff written by Oliver Wendell Holmes and Thomas Jefferson today and it's like what they said not only was from a different time but almost like a fossil record of what the judicial system was supposed to be--in others words--my words---Lady Justice might be blind, but Jefferson and later folks like Holmes didn't intend for her to be stupid

ok, i'll stop now
peace
-will-

Subscription

Interesting situation today--received regular mail of prescriptions and, yes, my biggest vice--stuff from ebay and amazon.com, after that I saw a small, reader digest size book wrapped in plastic---okay, probably some incredibly boring thing from one of the insurance companies explaining why less was gonna cost more or perhaps somebody else's embroidery catalog or the like. Closer examination and I realized it was a "literary" magazine addressed to me--then I remembered that several writing contests that I had entered--please refer to earlier blog suggesting that it is more reasonable to spend your money on lotto tickets than writing contests--in either case, you are almost certainly gonna lose but at least with the lotto, folks aren't gonna send you a form letter, e-mail, or some other thing telling you how great their publications are--apparently so great that i and all the other folks except for a few professional writers aren't good enough to grace their pages--so they take your money and don't even give you a kiss on the cheek and use the money to pay the "winner" and to help finance their publication-----hmmm, i guess i feel more strongly about that than i realized. ANYWAY, another hook that some of the contests as part of your entry fee (these are usually $25 or more) also give you is a subscription to their publication--i guess so you or in this case, i, can see the work of real writers. Now do i throw it away before i open it or do i read part of it and see what i'm missing-i don't think that i have a table or chair leg that needs leveling--it would make a useful coaster until the plastic wore out--kind of hard to do archery when i don't have a bow anymore so it's useless as a target--gun practice? no, sheriff's deputies would frown on that--only way i can legally shoot a gun is if i am shooting a person in defense--no, i am not even gonna start on that-ah yes, my typical quandary in a conundrum (i do use that phrase every chance i get)

i will deal with it tomorrow--in the immortal words (paraphrased) of Scarlett O'Hara.
peace
-will-

All My Trials

Listening to a lot of Peter, Paul, and Mary today-now "All My Trials"--i forgot how many songs Mary sang lead on, this song is one--of course, it's the same song that Elvis used as part of his "American Trilogy"---the part I guess that is unique is that in songs like this and "The Last Thing on My Mind" is that Mary sings the low part and Peter and Paul harmonize in a higher voice. One of my favorite songs she sang is actually not a P,P, and M song---it's a Paul Simon song, "Song for the Asking"--Mary does it in her own arrangement and makes it her own song--at least not just a copy of Simon singing it. I am amazed by the lack of coverage that her death has generated--at least to call attention to all her contributions and what she actually did for music and human rights/civil rights, even today--i mean if something had happened to Kanye West or other present "singers"=i can only imagine the media frenzy---oh, well, the world continues to spin and i guess it will average out in the end--
peace
-will-

Mary

Listening to Peter, Paul, and Mary now---it's so hard to believe that Mary is gone now. Reading today, writer said that record company had Peter and Paul and then waited for two months to find the best woman so the overall group would have sex appeal. So they "settled" on Mary. What irony, the executives in their effort did find a beautiful blonde with a unique voice--but she would keep both her beauty and her voice until she was past 70. They also blundered through putting together a group whose harmonies can never be matched. And their songs--well, they helped Dylan get started by singing his songs and later did the same for John Denver, even though he was fairly well known for his part in the Chad Mitchell trio--a folk group of the sixties. Of course, P,P,and M should be remembered for their social conscience throughout their long careers, in the beginning they were one of the first white groups to march with Martin Luther King.
to borrow a couple of lines from John Prine-
"I'll be halfway to Heaven with Paradise waitin'
Just five miles away from wherever I am"


Mary will be missed, i will miss her, but she has so many songs where she will be remembered.

The world is getting older and darker.
peace
-will-

JDB

watching television--my favorite part was the Jack Daniel's commercial--watching them pour the glass full, i realized that the cold tea (actually my time in Germany made me where I don't really like ice anymore, just cold or room temperature is ok for drinks)--anyway the tea looked almost the same as Jack Daniel's Black--but getting ready to take the sip, i realized one of my favorite part of JDB is the way it smells---so i definitely knew it was tea on the way instead---no, i am not really much of a drinker but that means i usually drink what i like the rare times i drink--
Lynchburg is a beautiful little town and is not really only about Jack Daniel's even though it's the only "industry" there--other than the tourists, it's actually a lot like most small Tennessee towns--in other words, a good place to spend time--try the tipsy cake--a couple of pieces and you feel it-

which brings me to the great disaster that happened , well, a few years ago---seems there was a small problem with a huge barrel or two on top of the hill where the distillery has some huge buildings and several hundred thousand of gallons of Jack "escaped," ran down the hill and ended up in the creek across the road----the spring you see in all the commercials is safe and good to drink---it runs into the creek but the creek flows a long distance through farms and the countryside---so it's not safe to drink--what with the cows and all spending time in the creek---so the creek was "contaminated" and a lot of cows enjoyed Jack for the first time--at least, first time i guess---i don't know that anyone local was upset---since everyone is either employed or related to several people who are employed by Uncle Jack(and it passes down through the years in families)----seems like i remember that the EPA got involved and there was a fine--but most of us just mourned the fact that there was no way to recover all that was lost, or some of the lost---ahhh, i can only hope it was JDGreen instead of Black

another sip of------------tea
peace
-will-

for no one

hmm, seem to be stuck in a pattern talking about other people's stuff--like Plath's Mirror, i can swallow what i see and reflect what i see without getting past the first silver coat of the mirror--so you can't see me, only what i choose to reflect

maybe that makes sense, maybe not but i am the one writing this, thank you-unfortunately, it makes sense to me

anyway, listening to Beatles' songs--guess after Michael Jackson died, his "estate" decided to cash in on him owning rights to Beatle songs

just listened to "For No One"--then looked at its length-couldn't believe it was exactly/only 2 minutes long--so much is crammed into that time--feelings--McCartney sings what it's like to be waiting for someone that not only doesn't want him, she doesn't even want to listen to him---hence, for no one-he sings his song, but since she doesn't want it--
great song
peace
-will-

MoTown

i don't know if it matters or not but reading about the shape that cities like Detroit and others are getting in, today was listening to some MoTown---classic MoTown and i realize just how much I miss the Tops, the Temps, Smokey, Martha and the Vandellas, of course the Supremes and all the other groups. To hear Levi Stubbs singing Reach Out--i'll be there---Jimmy Ruffin-"What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" -Percy Sledge"When a Man Loves a Woman, the Temptations singing "My Girl" and then "Papa was a Rolling Stone"---unbelievably pure voices and then harmonies, not to forget the steps and stage shows-----then Marvin Gaye, "Heard it Through the Grapevine," but especially "What's Going On" and the ultimate make-out song "Let's Get it On"--Otis Redding and Aretha both sang "Respect" and made it their own song--my favorite by Otis was "Try a Little Tenderness"--i realize some of these folks might have been on a label other than MoTown and yeah, i remember the times, in the sixties and early seventies--times were a lot harder than most people want to remember---all i can say is that one white kid in Tennessee liked the MoTown groups and appreciated their courage, talent, and determination.--and loved (and still do) the music

playlists

somehow i have ended up with a playlist with only Enya and John Prine--which is good because i like both---somehow "Marble Halls" does go with "Illegal Smile"--maybe--but i am the one listening--strange days--trying to sort out some things in my head--always a challenge because when i do these things, i do it completely in my own head--the folks are not around for whatever reasons that i might talk with---i guess the main problem is when i do it in my head, the echoes are overwhelming--i have tried to write but nothing is there--i need to write to answer some e-mails and i will, it's just going to take a little while--now would be a good time for a road trip on either the triumph or in my old truck but they are both in about as good a shape as i am in now-
i guess vintage sometimes equates to being unreliable, but looking good-right-
peace
-will-

blue

Listening to Rhapsody in Blue--been a long time since i've listened to Gershwin--amazing and what's that word? yeah, perfection--or close enough-with Gershwin it was almost as if the individual instruments filled in the words--hmmm, i don't know if the equivalent would be a poem without words--i think i will just listen a while longer and keep my thoughts close tonight-don't have any thoughts worthy to send on a voyage outside my head now
peace
-will-

Plath

took some time to read tonight--maybe actually to figure what i should be doing when i try to write--it didn't take me long to find a poem by Sylvia Plath, one of my favorite writers--so controlled, so understated but at the same time screaming in passion--yes, i do like her writing and i would have liked to have had a chance to talk to her, a lot of writers, no, i would be just content to read-but i would have liked to have spent an afternoon with her just to listen and maybe ask a few questions--i wonder if anyone really ever listened to her when she lived--and i think my favorite of all her poems, the one tonight, is a simple poem--yeah, of course, it's anything but simple, called "Mirror"--it starts out with the quiet lines "I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions./Whatever I see I swallow immediately." And in the space of 18 lines tells the life story of a woman --from girlhood to old woman. Everytime i start that poem, it is impossible to stop until I read it several times. It is just so quiet, but in these few lines, the woman confronts her life, tries to discover its meaning, and to work out some acceptance of it all. and the mirror just reflects--"I am not cruel, only truthful-/The eye of the little god, four cornered." and in the end, it seems to me that she has found anything but acceptance. Read this poem, or not--your loss.
peace
-will-

old songs

Seems to be no music on now--will take care of that later--just remembering some old stuff--song in head is "Long Time Gone"--sung by Crosby, Stills, Nash, probably Young too--actually a song by David Crosby--some great lines, "Speak your mind out, that is if you still dare, you still care" and "You know the darkest hour is just before the dawn"--the last one probably a lot older than the song---

good day, still dealing with steroids--i forgot how those things can really affect you--
peace
-will-

burning beds

Turned on music--just happened to be Midnight Oil, "Beds are Burning." great Ozzie group and a great song--i wonder how many folks outside OZ really know what it's about--i loved the few months i got to spend in the outback and the Oz people--what you see is what you get--i like that--Oz women remind me in a lot of ways like German women--but that's another story for another time

today has been interesting--they pumped me full of steroids in the hospital, now i get to "wean" off them slowly--hospital stay this time was not so bad--all of the staff, especially nurses and na's were great--good neurologist----but they have an "internist" now that i guess is just assigned to hospital--he and a nurse practitioner--guess all they do is stick their head for about 5 minutes a day to make sure you are breathing--and charge accordingly------ah well, life goes on and considering alternatives--tonight i am not complaining

read more of WordCatalystMagazine.com----Shirley and Harry and everyone really do a great job--well aside from letting me plunk some of my "stuff" in there--but if anyone even takes a cursory look at it, they would have to realize how many hours are involved for a basically free magazine--that adheres to pretty strict journalistic guidelines---well, i am certainly not a journalism expert--not sure what kind of expert i am now---

maybe more music and short movie
take care
-will-

home

Guess you need to be careful about what you listen to or hear--last time I spoke about home calling to me-promptly woke up the next morning and spent the next week in the hospital--probed, prodded, and with many more holes poked in me than before I started--main thing is that i basically seem ok and shouldn't have to worry about going back soon--hmm---is that tempting fate again? maybe i'll learn one of these days

tired, just wanted to point out that Shirely and Harry did their usual great job on WordCatalystMagazine.com again this month--check it out
take care
-will-