Yeah, I often wonder about that--but here I am writing in a blog with relative anonymity--not that that matters to me, these days I am prone to speak whatever is on my mind, with some control over various obscenities and expletives---that's the way I was taught in my Southern upbringing, though I guess there is a time and place for those--just not here, not now
started using the sleep machine last night, the way it was explained in the about 15 seconds of coherent conversation I had with the sleep doctor the other day as he was rushing me out the door, he told me that if I had issues with dreams, then I could expect the constant flow of air to my brain to increase the dreams and to make them more vivid--and he was right--I can only remember bits and pieces of all of them from last night, I know that will improve with time-like the last time I used the machine---oh well------maybe I should set the stage for this--the two nights before I used the CPAP machine--let's see Thursday night, I had a vivid dream about dying but the dream ended, I woke up or whatever, before I died--Friday night, I dreamt that I died, not about the events leading up to that--but about lying in a bed dying----then enter the machine, last night, some of the dreams I remember were about a beautiful young lady and being killed in the time with her-yes, I remember a lot of the details but I am not going into them---the interesting (at least to me) thing about these dreams were that they were all three from different times---I have had similar dreams before, usually also from different times, some are recurrent and the details in them change little if any---so I don't really fear that dreaming about death means that I am about to punch my proverbial clock--but I do believe that sometimes dreams are ways that we are shown different glimpses of the past---the way a friend explained it to me one time, was that if you accept that as a truth, then you are more apt to remember dramatic or traumatic parts of those lives at first before remembering other parts--I guess the end if not traumatic would at least be memorable. Like I have said before, including in a poem, I have no fear of dying, actually more curiosity---not that I am in a hurry, because I have many things that I want to do here before like taking care of my family, restoring my old 53 Ford F100, fixing and riding my old Triumph Tr6C motorcycle, having my book of poems published---the Lotto would be nice, but I am afraid that is about as likely as getting my book published. To me if I am at the end of the circle when I die, a perfect vision would be to see a heavy wooden door opening and then to be invited by an old man or woman or both to sit on a stool in front of a fire and to ask whatever questions I wanted.
Ah well, life goes on, even in dreams----but why am I so blind?
-will-
from my poem "Death"
"When You are ready to come for me;
You will have no trouble finding me.
I see You as opening a door for me
And leading me across the threshold;
Hopefully to the beginning of an
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